Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
