There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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