help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
