it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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