Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
