I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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