Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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