Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
