I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
