tequila makes me forget i have legs
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
