He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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