No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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