I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
