I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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