We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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