Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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