is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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