I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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