five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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