Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
