Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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