before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
