I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
