I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
