Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My bed is full of blood and feathers
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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