The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
