Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize