today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
