What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
