The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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