We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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