Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
this hospital has no fireball
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
