Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
