Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize