I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
