i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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