It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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