I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I have aggressive nipples.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
