I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just pee around me
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
