North Korea, Best Korea!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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