drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
