idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
