Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
