you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
