I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
