quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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