Three words: puerto rican gang bang
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
