whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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