ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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