Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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