i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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