Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize