the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Still dying that you shit outside
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
