awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
