She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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