This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Holy shit dude........stairs
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
