I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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